Christmas BINGO and the angler … mani-pedi?

12 27 Frantz Bingo

Yellow lamb … blue star … red three wisemen  … green manger …

“BINGO!” I shout with a burst of adrenaline and ensuing fist pump — you know, the same kind of excitement one feels when a huge fish finally hits after multiple relentless casts. (When a completed BINGO board at a family Christmas party produces that kind of jolt, it may be an indicator I’m not fishing enough, or I’m a touch too competitive). Either way, I won!

I run past my 70-some-year-old aunt and shove my cousins’ school-aged children out of the way to get to the prize table first, eagerly rubbing my hands together like a kid in a candy store, scouring the options to select my major award.

So many prizes, so many possibilities! There are onion choppers, leather wallets, tools, travel kits, books, home décor and more. My eyes scan quickly as BINGO squares continue to fall in the background. “Hurry,” I think to myself, “The rest will be coming soon.”

In a moment of panic, I pick up a striped picture frame, thinking it might be nice to display my children’s portraits on my desk at work. I hastily thumb through a wall calendar. But then I see it!

Buried beneath a bottle of fragrance, an electric candle warmer, and a neoprene beer koozie is a neat little package, shimmering in the twinkle and glow of the room’s holiday lights. “Sassy + Chic,” the title reads, and I instantly realize I’ve found myself a keeper.

“Seriously? You’re taking the pedicure set?” someone groans from the crowd, as I proudly hoist my winnings high into the air like the Stanley Cup itself.

They sneer, but I recognize potential when I see it.

The nail clippers alone sealed the deal for me. Anglers always need a set of nippers for cutting their fishing line, and the perforated hole at its base works perfectly to affix the tool to the retractable zinger already on my fishing vest. I lost my nippers earlier this year, so snagging this selection from the deep waters of the prize pool is a no brainer.

As I return to my seat, I bask in the glory of my victory and begin to ponder additional uses for the other beauty care products included in this lovely pink package.

With aquatic invasive species on the rise, all anglers and boaters should have a good scrub brush to remove unwanted organisms clinging to their gear after some time on the water. The little handheld scrubber will work exceptionally well for cleaning the treads of my wading boots, I reason.

“Those toe dividers can double as rod organizers,” my uncle aptly suggests.

Instantly the closet engineer in my mind envisions a wooden rack, with these pink foam separators zip-tied to the frame, creating a horizontal rod rack that slides perfectly into the bed of my pickup truck, without fear of rods breaking or lines becoming entangled. The whole thing is genius, and I can totally pull it off.

But what to make of the pumice stone? I could use it to descale fish before filleting them, to remove the dirt from my fingertips after digging around in a tub full of earthworms, or perhaps to even freshen up the shine on a rusty old treble hook. The sky’s the limit in terms of prospective uses, and I silently congratulate myself on a job well done.

While my family may scoff at my somewhat unusual, and underappreciated Christmas BINGO prize selection, the angler in me wholeheartedly knows I’ve made the right decision. With all the multi-purpose fishing applications this little rosy package has to offer, it’ll most certainly be the gift that keeps on giving … and I’ll have the prettiest darn toes on the water come trout season!

Categories: Pennsylvania – Tyler Frantz

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *