Outdoor horoscopes for the week of May 19 to May 25, 2025

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll misjudge a riverbank step this week and perform a graceful, full-body wader plunge. You’ll emerge soaked and embarrassed, but spiritually awakened. 

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Out of sheer principle, you’ll refuse to change fishing lures all weekend. Somehow, that stubbornness turns into success… in the form of an angry, 14-inch dogfish. 

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A turkey hunt turns into a mushroom hunt turns into a nap. Consider it “multi-purpose scouting.” Your wife calls it “free time.”

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’ll be the only one who remembers to bring the camp coffee on your canoe trip. This act alone will elevate you to temporary trail sainthood.

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll loudly explain your technique while landing a 12-inch bass as if it’s a world record. Everyone hears you. No one will be impressed.

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Despite owning every other stream trout fishing gadget, you desperately want a drift boat. It’s probably not necessary, however, on the 8-foot wide creeks that you fish.

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)

The pyromaniac in you desperately wants to “prescribe burn” that last chunk of prairie this spring. Heed the little voice that says, “Obtain a burning permit.”

♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll fire off a slate call that’s so sharp it spooks a jake and impresses a nearby crow. No tag filled, but your pride is intact.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

A casual spring whitetail scouting hike turns into a misadventure when you follow a deer trail “just a little farther.” You return three hours later with sticks in your socks and three shriveled morel mushrooms.

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Food plots always have struck you as cheating, but after going 0-for-the-2020s deer hunting the past five years, they’ll suddenly seem intriguing this spring planting season.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The new fishing knot that doesn’t technically work but somehow still holds. You call it “The Anomaly.” No one will ever replicate it. 

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll catch nothing, forget snacks, and drop your sunglasses in the shallows on your next fishing outing. And yet, you’ll describe the day as “perfect.” Because of course you will.