C.B. Bylander: Men’s group tackles Outdoor News before Bibles

I am hopeful that God doesn’t find this column sacrilegious because I do want to land in heaven.

Yet I must tell the truth.

And the truth is this: At the church I attend, our Friday morning men’s group pores over the latest issue of Minnesota Outdoor News before we pore over the Bible.

It’s a tradition.

This tradition, I suspect, is such an ecclesiastical rarity that we are likely the only Christian men’s group in the world to do such a thing. This doesn’t make us uniquely divine. It probably just makes us odd. But it is a blessing.

You see, whereas the leaders of most men’s groups might say something like “And now a reading from Psalm 23:4,” our spiritual leader starts our post-breakfast proceedings with words like “And now a reading from Cuffs and Collars.” He also likes to read the lake of the week profile and letters to the editor. It’s a very different kind of scripture, and perhaps not scripture at all, but our leader’s words land well as coffee is sipped, the scent of bacon lingers in the air and stomachs are sated.

How did this tradition begin?

The answer traces to former parishioner Roger Tietz. A state conservation officer at the time, Tietz volunteered to take over the reins of our men’s group and brought his latest copy of Outdoor News with him. A fisher of both men and fish, Roger used the weekly tabloid to get jaws flapping, eyes engaged and fellowship shepherded in a good direction. It was genius.

It was genius because when Roger switched from reading Outdoor News to reading the Bible our group was already primed to respond to questions, pipe up with personal anecdotes and keep threads of conversation from unraveling into awkward silence.

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Unlike many sorry souls who volunteer to lead groups, Roger’s approach largely eliminated having to deal with people whose jaws were locked as tight as a boated pike or whose eyes were as vacant as those of a dead walleye.

When Tietz moved north, our new group leader, Ted, kept the Outdoor News tradition alive.

I suspect Ted did this, in part, because many in our group are very connected to the land, and when I say land, I mean land and most any fishing water from Brainerd to Lake of the Woods. Stan, for example, is a former bowhunter instructor whose larder never lacks for venison. Verdell is a premier trapper. If Crow Wing County’s beavers knew how good he is they’d be chewing their way to Cass, Morrison and Aitkin counties right now.

John is another guy who is connected to the land. He did environmental work for the government. Then there’s Tom. He’s an all-around outdoorsy guy whose photo appeared in Outdoor News this spring for bagging a highly unusual amelanistic wild tom turkey. Others in our group have similar pedigrees.

Our group is further blessed to have some members who actually put the Bible ahead of Outdoor News. This isn’t heresy – though it has cut many fishing stories short – but instead a logical approach to salvation and a better understanding of creation and everlasting life. Larry, for example, is a former community college bigwig who often reads weighty tomes on world religions, ancient Israel, and similar topics in pursuit of even higher knowledge. I take great comfort in Larry’s elucidations because when he is lecturing, I know Ted can’t call on me to answer a question. Darrell, our former pastor, serves a similar Bible scholar role. Rick too.

I appreciate the keen insights of our devout members because I find Christianity – in fact all religions – to be quite confusing. Take for example Genesis 1:26-28, which speaks to dominion over the fish in the water, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals that move along the ground. While I would be a fool to question the Bible, I do know there is another book – it’s called the Statutes of Minnesota – that under section 84.027 subdivision 2 clearly ascribe these management duties to the commissioner of the Department of Natural Resources. I don’t know who has final authority, but I keep my hunting and fishing licenses current just to be safe.

Similarly, who can’t be confused by the tale of Jonah, in which the fleeing prophet is engulfed like a golden shiner and spat out three days later. I’ve heard plenty of amazing fish stories, but this is the darndest. The second-best fish story, of course, is Herman Melville’s Moby Dick, which thankfully was penned prior to forward-facing sonar being invented otherwise it would have been a very short book.

Psalm 96:12 is another puzzler. It proclaims, “Then all of the trees of the forest will shout with joy.” Yes, I’ve heard of whispering pines, but I can’t recall a tree talking to me. It is true, according to the brilliant German forester Peter Wohlleben, that trees form social networks, share nutrients and warn each other of danger. But that’s different from a tree hollering at me that it’s having a fine day. Yet I will say: I have shouted while weaving through dense aspen stands but only to ascertain the location of my dog or an out-of-sight grouse-hunting buddy. It is possible that my cries of “Gary, where the heck are you?” still echo through the alder edges of Cass County’s Moose Willow Township.

As I close, do know that if you ever have a hankering for a sumptuous repast and some spiritual reflection you are welcome to join us at Lord of Life Lutheran Church in Baxter most any Friday morning. The coffee is brewed by 6:45. Scott and his crew have the vittles cooked by 7. If you’re lucky, you may be treated to venison breakfast sausage, fresh-picked berries, recently bottled maple syrup or even Verdell’s special Mississippi River fried catfish. But bring some donuts just in case. Verdell is a fine provider, but he has yet to reach the status of being able to feed the masses with just two small fish.