Outdoor horoscopes for the week of July 7 to July 13, 2025

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

After three days at the cabin, your dog will now only respond to commands barked through a duck call. You’ll pretend this is intentional.

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your camp neighbor’s generator will kick on at 10:36 p.m. You’ll rehearse a diplomatic complaint. Then lose your nerve and go for a walk instead. That’s growth.

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ll attempt to multitask – grill brats, toss a dummy for the dog, and rig your slip bobber all at once. A small fire and moderate tangle will result.

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

The constellations predict you’ll find a forgotten beer in the lake, still cold.

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

A child will out-fish you using corn and a Snoopy rod. You’ll mask your fury with sunglasses and a tight smile. The child will offer you a turn with the pole. Don’t take it.

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

In an attempt to work on “place” commands, you’ll spend 45 minutes chasing your dog around a picnic table. You will entertain nearby chipmunk.

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)

At the nation of Canada border, expect to encounter a bleach-blonde, spiky-hair Canadian border agent who has watched one too many Rambo movies. Try not to flunk the attitude test.

♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your dog will break a perfect heel to leap into the lake mid-training session. You’ll feign disappointment, but admire the enthusiasm.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’ll finally reach the shaded fishing hole you’ve been dreaming about – only to find it already occupied… by a very relaxed but large snapping turtle. Let him have it.

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The stars suggest this is not the week to test your homemade canoe rack at 10-mph-over highway speeds. That ratchet strap is lying to you.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

A tick will hitch a ride on your ankle, then mysteriously vanish. You will spend the next three days scratching at imaginary itches and Googling symptoms. Welcome to July.

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The stars recommend you expand your horizons by reading some classic outdoors literature this summer. Start with Big Two-Hearted River, recently reprinted in Outdoor News.