Outdoor horoscopes for the week of Aug. 25 to Aug. 31, 2025

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll rise before dawn to scout an early goose field. The geese arrive all right – just 200 yards left of where you set up. Call it character-building.

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This week you’ll realize bug spray is less about preventing bites and more about offering the illusion of control. The mosquitoes are winning.

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

That “shortcut” canoe portage? It’s two beaver dams, three mud holes, and a wasp nest. The stars suggest longer routes aren’t always worse.

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

A fishing buddy swears by a secret bait. It’s hot dogs. Against all odds, he catches fish. Against better judgment, you’ll try it too.

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll dig out last year’s camo and find it shrank in the closet. Or maybe the summer cookouts are to blame. Either way, the teal won’t care, though the deer might.

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Try test-shooting clay pigeons to “get sharp” before opener. Don’t mind if the pigeons, unbroken, roll around the grass like smug little trophies.

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Camping under late-summer stars feels perfect – until midnight raccoons treat your cooler like a casino buffet. 

♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll finally string your recurve for practice. By the third shot, the neighbor appears, eager to talk about deer he saw last year. Accuracy dissolves into small talk.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your retriever will leap into the pond with the grace of a mallard. Unfortunately, he’s chasing dragonflies instead of dummies. The stars smile.

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’ll swear you’ve perfected your goose calling. Geese answer… by circling once and bailing. Timing is everything, even in the stars.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The glow of fireflies in a mason jar will make you nostalgic. Until one escapes in the car on the ride home. Romantic? Not so much.

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll hook into a bass the exact second your phone buzzes. Juggling both, you’ll land neither. Stars say: Let voicemail handle it.