Outdoor horoscopes for the week of June 2 to June 8, 2025

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll bring a canoe to a paddle-in lake that now has an ATV trail. You’ll insist on doing it “the old-fashioned way,” then mutter about your shoulder for three days.

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

After stubbornly refusing to re-tie a frayed knot, you’ll lose a fish, your favorite lure, and a small part of your dignity.

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Pack light for your next camping trip. The stars realized that your version of “light” still includes a folding table, a windscreen for your stove, and two jars of artisanal pickles.

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’ll make meaningful eye contact with a snapping turtle this week. You’ll walk away feeling understood. The turtle will not remember you.

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll give a 20-minute speech about the ethics of catch and release before accidentally dropping a largemouth bass into the boat cooler.

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll catch nothing all morning, then finally land a 20-inch walleye while holding a sandwich in one hand and a half-spooled rod in the other. Take the win.

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll break a tent pole and fix it with duct tape, a marshmallow skewer, and raw determination. Somehow, it will hold. This becomes your origin story.

♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

True self-reflection can be painful, but for middle-aged folks, it’s best to ignore your reflection from the lake whilst fishing.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your minimalist camping approach ends when someone pulls out bacon. You’ll “borrow” five things and say, “next time, I’ll be more prepared.”

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’ll try to fish in a thunderstorm because the bite is “just turning on.” A distant boom will change your mind. Eventually.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll insist on navigating by topographic map and intuition. This results in a scenic detour through a bog and two awkward apologies.

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll stumble across a wild whitetail fawn tucked into the grass – still as stone, barely breathing. You’ll whisper “it’s OK” like you’re in a nature documentary. The fawn, unmoved, resumes its nap.