Outdoor horoscopes for the week of May 26 to June 1, 2025

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be the first to notice the leeches in the swim area this weekend, and the only one to loudly narrate their movements like a nature documentary.

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This week you’ll discover that bringing a cast iron pan to a backpacking campsite was a bold choice. You’ll call it “luxury weight.” Your back will call it something else.

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

In an act of pure chaos, your soft plastics end up with your snacks. You’ll end up chewing on a watermelon craw before realizing it. No harm done… probably.

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’ll be overwhelmed with joy by the sound of spring peepers… until you realize the chorus is coming from your tent walls. They are in there with you now.

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

After teaching a beginner how to cast this weekend, she immediately out-fishes you. You’ll say you’re “proud,” but the stars know the truth.

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You will alphabetize your camp meal ingredients. Again. No one asked you to, but no one dares stop you either.

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’ll forget your fishing license at home but carry six spare bobbers and a tape measure. The conservation warden will be polite but unconvinced.

♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

A perfectly good tom will hang up at 65 yards and gobble at you with smug indifference. You’ll admire his nerve and curse his wisdom.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your cabin hammock setup will defy both gravity and common sense. Friends will question the safety. You’ll call it “experimental architecture.”

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Beware the masked guy running past your cabin with growling chainsaw. He may have poor intentions.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll get into a passionate philosophical debate about fish cleaning methods. The winner will be the person who quietly just does it while you’re still arguing.

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

After harvesting spruce tips for a trendy backwoods cocktail, you’ll forget the rest of the ingredients. You drink straight gin in the woods. It’s not bad.