Outdoor horoscopes for the week of May 12 to May 18, 2025

• Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll march confidently into the woods this week, only to realize your turkey vest still has last year’s half-melted cough drops in it.  

• Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’ll insist on using the same fishing lure that worked in 1998. This week, you catch fish not because of it, but in spite of it. Nature respects stubbornness – sometimes. 

• Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

This week, your indecision peaks at the bait shop, where you buy four of everything “just in case.” You’ll forget them all in the truck. 

• Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You will finally get the perfect toast on a marshmallow at an evening campfire. Avoid getting all emotional about it. 

• Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’ll loudly declare you don’t need a map, only to end up leading a group hike to nowhere. But your confidence is inspiring, even when it’s useless. 

• Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll spend six hours organizing your tackle box and four minutes fishing this week. Good news: the photos of your organizational system are going viral in niche Reddit circles. 

• Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Tired of chasing off trashy house sparrows, the male bluebirds in neighborhood decide to turn your nesting box into a hip bachelor pad. 

• Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’ll call in a turkey using only your eyes and raw intensity. No one sees it happen. You don’t care. It was between you and the bird. 

• Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You wander off while camping “to scout ahead” and return six hours later with a half-eaten granola bar and three ticks. You are thrilled. Your campmates are mildly disturbed. 

• Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’ll lose three flies with your dysfunctional backcast while stream trout fishing this week, but the chaos will inspire you to perfect your roll-casting. 

• Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You will kill your first tom turkey in coming days. Congratulations, but please remember his brain is .05% the size of yours. 

• Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You forget your fishing rod, lose your bait, and end up photographing ducks for two hours. It is, somehow, still your best fishing day this season so far.