Hunting and fishing tales: If it wasn’t for bad luck…

J.R. AbsherYou’ve likely heard the song lyric, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all.” This week’s selection of tales offers readers some true “bad luck,” stories, all with an outdoor flavor!

Ever Have One of Those Weeks?

It was a bad week all around for central Florida resident Guy Daelemans. One day in July he was clearing weeds in three feet of water at Lake Eustis when an alligator slammed its jaws shut on his leg. During an ensuing tussle, Daelemans reportedly punched the 11-footer in its snout multiple times, finally causing it to release its grip. He was subsequently treated and released for two puncture wounds and a laceration to his left thigh and knee.

When news of the incident was broadcast on local television news programs, Daelemans was subsequently recognized as the perpetrator of several recent criminal acts.

The day following the attack, he was visited by police and arrested on grand theft charges and failure to return leased property and was held on $50,000 bond.

The moral? The jaws of an alligator may be the strongest force in nature, but the arm of the law has a longer reach.

One of Those Nights

The Ozarks region of Missouri and Arkansas is well known for its scenic beauty, outdoor recreation and outstanding fishing. In addition, it’s a fair conclusion that more bass-fishing boats are produced there than anywhere else on the face of the Earth.

Curtis Karlen of Fort Collins, Colo. traveled to northwestern Arkansas to pick up his newly refurbished 2003 Ranger 21-foot Reatta with a 225-horsepower Evinrude engine. According to the Baxter (Ark.) Bulletin, Karlen decided to try some fishing on Bull Shoals Lake that evening and used the opportunity to take his “new” boat for a test spin.

The Marion County Sheriff’s Department reports that Karlen evidently became disoriented on the lake after dark and ran his boat aground, seriously damaging its hull and engine. After a 911 call and a prolonged rescue, Karlen finally loaded his wrecked boat onto its trailer and headed down the road. Within a few miles the hapless angler collided with a deer, caving-in the door on his Suburban. Soon, Marion County’s finest were there to fill out another report.

Memo to Curtis: If you expected to remain in Arkansas for some hunting, we highly suggest that you make other plans.

The Manure Hit the Fan

If you were to make the assertion that manure is Scott Fisher’s bread and butter, you’d be correct. You see, Fisher, 38, of Lisbon, New York makes his living hauling livestock waste with a tractor/trailer rig.

But recently, the semi driver found himself in deep you-know-what of a different order, so to speak.

Fisher was cruising through Oswegatchie, in St. Lawrence County near the Canadian border one recent afternoon, enjoying the pleasant breeze wafting through the open cab window on the driver’s side of his rig. And you can bet the farm this trucker knows how and when to enjoy fresh air whenever he has the opportunity.

About that time, fate turned the tables on Fisher. It hit the fan, you might say.

According to the New York State Police, an airborne wild turkey burst through the open truck window and began flopping around inside the cab. In the mayhem that ensued, Fisher tried his best to remove the crazed fowl from truck while struggling to retain control of the moving rig.

Unfortunately, he failed on both counts.

Veering off the roadway, Fisher’s rig clipped down a row of fenceposts before sliding into a ditch, finally coming to a rest on its side. In the meantime, the bird managed to escape from the semi cab, leaving behind only a few keepsake feathers for Fisher, who was uninjured in the mishap.

Watertown’s WWTI television interviewed the New York State Trooper covering the accident, and he offered an astute and profound understatement:

“That doesn’t happen every day,” he observed.

No (kidding), Sherlock!

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