Outdoor horoscopes for the week of June 23 to June 29, 2025

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Ignore the patch of nettles adjacent to the only ripe patch of wild strawberries. The sweetness will almost make up for the sting. Almost. 

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

A friend warns you about fast water on a flooded river. You nod, then launch your canoe anyway. Wear the life jacket. 

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Keep the hose nearby for your “modest” Fourth of July fireworks stockpile, which includes three mortar tubes and a 15-shot cake labeled “Wrath of the Patriot.” 

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Midway through your “quick hike,” you’ll realize the bug spray’s still in the car and your snack is a single crushed granola bar. You will eat it. You will survive. But not without whining. 

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

A bald eagle will fly over your campsite at just the right moment. You will make a joke about freedom, bacon, and gasoline. No one laughs, but you feel patriotic anyway. 

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You reorganize the family tackle box, install a labeling system, and initiate a color-coded jighead protocol. The result? Beautiful, orderly chaos. 

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You really shouldn’t have released that last bass… That’s unfortunately as specific as the stars can be. 

♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

The walleye bite will turn on right when you threaten to quit and go home. You’ll stay. You’ll catch one. But the leech smell will linger long after the glory fades. 

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

When your Uncle Bill stares into the campfire and delivers a long, meandering opinion on the Second Amendment, simply nod and hand him another s’more. 

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The bridge is washed out, the detour is flooded, and the access road looks suspiciously like a creek. This week, every shortcut is a longcut. Accept your fate. 

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Two possibilities exist this week. You might get shooting instruction help from someone at the trap range, or someone might help you change a flat tire on the interstate. Conclusion: Head to the trap range via state highways. 

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

An entire day of fishing will pass without a bite – but an inspirational eagle will swoop so close you’ll forget you ever cared about fish.