Undeniable truths about fishing, boating

I watched a recent Jeff Foxworthy comedy routine. No more “you may be a redneck” jokes on stage. Now, it’s a litany of “undeniable truths,” such as “Babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt.”
As a boater and fisherman I’ve discovered several undeniable truths, as I’m sure you have, as well. Here’s a few of mine:
• I’ve never had a flat tire on the drive home from a fishing trip.
• No matter how early I leave, there’s always another boat already at my best fishing spot.
• When a married couple goes fishing together, the wife always catches the biggest fish. This phenomenon is doubled the more the man loves to fish and the wife dislikes fishing.
• If I don’t take the straps off the boat, it will not come off the trailer, no matter how hard I push.
• Weathermen aren’t fishermen.
• Having rain gear on the boat won’t diminish the chance of rain. Not having rain gear  increases the chance of rain.
• Wind is never my friend.
• Fishing in optimum conditions is only slightly better than fishing in sub-par conditions.
• Any lure can be the hot lure for the day, especially if you only own one of them.
• Lures of exactly the same make, model, size and color are not exactly the same to fish.
• I should never approach the dock faster than I’m willing to hit it.
• The number of biting flies in the boat are inversely proportional to the number of biting fish under the boat.
• Fishermen are optimists at heart.
• There’s no such thing as a fish too big, just nets too small.
Fishing is a learning experience. I bet you’ve learned a few undeniable truths of your own.

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